So where do We go From Here?

Screw Maps and Road More Travelled

Interior of a car, looking through the windshield at a long country road during the golden hour.

A month of sharing in and I’ve given you a glimpse behind the curtain of The Blue Hour Gospel. To say this journey has been unexpected would be an understatement. I think when I started out the writing process, I had drunk a solid mixture of 1-part delusion and 1-part naivety. There is a LOT of literature and loud voices who say this is an easy thing to do, and I am sure for a select group of people it is. For those of us though that don’t have the popular message or pockets dripping in money, it’s more difficult than you think.

Let’s start with publishers. Do you know how many publishers make claims that they champion and support different voices; or more specifically different queer voices, and then you visit their catalogue and see its various spins on the m/m sports romance trope or the classic white/gay celebrity memoire. The reality here is that if you don’t come with an audience, deep pockets, or the ability to get struck by lightning twice, you won’t even receive a rejection. Sure, these outlets are swamped in submissions, and I can be empathetic to that, but a lot of a writers “worth” is often tied to their publishing route. It would be lovely to have an outlet purely existing for queer voices in all categories giving fresh voices and stories a moment in the sun, and maybe one day there will be since more of us seem to be writing now, but for now let’s keep on driving.

Even after you’ve decided to self-publish after parsing the world of hybrid options, you still require a little bit of money. Now I am very blessed to have met some amazing people along the way that were able to support the vision and meet me where I was and for that I am forever thankful (seriously Brian Futter saved my writing life). Editors (and all the different types of editing there are) do not come cheap, but if you want to be taken seriously and be sold in certain stores, you need that editor. Designers, and artists, and formatters, and, and, and…. All of these talented folks are so important, and each do what they do so well. Can you do it on your own? Yes. But does it remove stress and feel good to support them? YES. Again, I am lucky enough to have a bit of extra money that I could afford these services, but for a large segment of indie writers this is unrealistic.

Then after you have somehow managed to create the book you have to sell it. You think let’s go with Amazon, and IngramSparks and be a businessperson. But then you try to get into a local queer owned bookstore and are told “well you sell on Amazon so we won’t carry you, but if you remove Amazon we will”. Now listen, would I love to support my local queer owned bookstore and have them carry my book with margins that really really really supports them, but in what world as an indie writer can I afford to remove my number one location for sales, not to mention global sales. The juggling act stores and platforms expect indie writers to complete is insane.

And eventually we get to promotion, which is a full circle moment. Remember those publishers that only hit the mark if you fit criteria, well most of the content creators are the same. Now don’t think for one second I am knocking them! In this crazy ass world, we all need escapism. My thought here is for the indie writers that have written something raw and against the grain. You will experience frustration here and walls you didn’t think existed but keep on driving because what matters is you and what you do next.

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So whats next?

The book "The Blue Hour Gospel on a messy desk featuring a sticker for the Canada Reads 2027 Competition.

I am keeping that delusion cocktail flowing and going back in for round two while continuing to try and promote the shit out of The Blue Hour Gospel. Writing is kind of like getting a tattoo. You know how you get your first tattoo and you think to yourself “ya one is enough” and then within weeks or months you feel that itch? Well writing is like that. Its cathartic, addictive, frustrating, growth inducing madness that you can’t wait to have stab your skin with over and over. And this time I am leaving the map that I thought would take me where I wanted to go behind. My voice, my perspective, my thoughts aren’t less worthy just because a publisher doesn’t pick me up or an influencer doesn’t read me.

I found a community in writing and will be exploring that community in book #2. I think when we live in a community of individuals who have been “othered” from the world, our views start to blur. That line between want and expectations starts to get messy and if you have a moment free of your body you start to wonder if what you think is even what you want to think, or if you are thinking it because we have been conditioned to think it based on who we are and who we talk to. I’ve been talking with gay/queer men as well as hetero individuals to get lived and shared experiences which I plan to work into my overall story about how we assimilate or isolate.

Once that story is cobbled together, then who knows! But for now, I am happy with not taking the road I thought I should take and continuing to champion the community I am a part of. It takes a village <3